Brain Burp

If you can believe it, my first term at EBC is nearing an end. There are just ten more class days left. Today was hard to get going for though. I’ve got a lingering clogged sinus condition that’s either an infection or the beginnings of my spring allergies. So last night, I had no energy, even after an afternoon nap, which, honestly, was catch-up for not sleeping well the night before. Anyway, I did a bit of reading and half a review assignment for Pro Development, and lay down on the couch to listen to the Otters game on the radio around 8. I just didn’t feel like doing anything and went to bed at 9, figuring I’d get up at 6 to finish up the stuff that had to be done for today.

I woke up right at 6 with my alarm, but really didn’t want to do the morning preparation routine, had to get angry with myself, just to get in the shower. But I did shower, and printed out some references for the research part of my interview in Speech Comm, and decided to put off for one more day the thing that’s been due for Pro Development. Basically what I fight in the mornings is my anxiety about being at class unprepared, once I get there and work at class, I feel ok. PD class was chapter review as usual, and I headed to the caff. for juice and a doughnut while I prepared for my Sp. Comm. interview.

As part of the interview, each student had to decide if our textbook’s definition and in chapter description accurately described extemporaneous speaking, which it didn’t, and we had to explain why. I did some pretty half-assed research, but was able to use personal experience with ASL, so that didn’t go too bad. The rest of the interview was fairly normal, but lack of prep make me nervous, and I could hear myself say “um, eh, ahh.” etc. though I didn’t notice until the “words” were out of my mouth. Oh well.

When people weren’t being interviewed, we were put in groups to work on our speeches, but the groups I was near ended up talking mostly about having kids, being pregnant, etc. Pretty much a blow-off class. On my way to State Street for the bus, the rain that was sprinkling off and on today had turned into icy little windblown pellets. Not fun, but what can one do? It’s an early spring day in Erie. The day got better after I got home, I went out to Taco Bell, and got one of their new and improved taco salads with lime seasoned tortilla strips and a tub of salsa. Dad had one of them a few days ago, and the couple bites I mooched off were quite tasty, so I splurged on a feel-good meal for myself today.

While I ate, I copied some cd’s onto the computer, and tried to get the album information from the internet, but Surf Erie’s being snarky and only connecting sporadically, and when it connects, it’s only in the 20 Kb range or lower. So that was frustrating, but no big deal in the scheme of things.

Now the little pellets have become some rather large and wet snowflakes. They aren’t sticking to the ground, but they’re pretty to look at. This weekend is going to be some “me” time: going to Behrend’s performance of Little Shop Of Horrors Friday, the Otters Game 2 Saturday, but I do need to get my informative speech written before then. Let’s see if the internet will work long enough for me to post this.

* nope. I wasn’t able to post this yet, so I’ll add to my play-by-play on the day since I ended my post

I played a couple games in my season of NHL 2003 after I finished writing. Good fun. Won one game, lost one by one goal. But who cares about that? Shortly after that was dinner. Ham, noodles in butter sauce, and mixed veggies. Not bad, it was good to have a sit-down dinner at the dining table with the ‘rents instead of in front of the tv.

After dinner we drove out to Office Max where I got some supplies for Pro Dev. projects and ink cartridges, then off to Borders for a browse. After much looking and debating, I got a book of stories from NHL players (who would’ve guessed?). I think when the next NHL season starts, I’ll buy a guidebook. It looks like a valuable resource, but now that this season’s practically over, the data is old. Looked at a Hellboy “graphic novel.” I don’t know how they can get away with charging $18 for a comic book, even full color on fairly glossy paper. I think I’m just getting old and cynical.

It felt good to just fart around on the computer and browse the office supply and book stores. A valuable bit of stress relief. It’s nine o’clock, and the internet still isn’t working. I can connect now, but I can’t load any pages. I guess this’ll just have to sit on my e*desktop overnight and hope for access tomorrow. I’m feeling a bit of internet withdrawal though; I haven’t been able to do my routine site visits or check email. It’s either related to this funky weather, a technical error with the ISP, or some jerk(s) think(s) it’s fun to disable the internet for April fool’s day. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.

I’m In! and Birthday Bash

Everything has come together. My new school accepted my loan application today, clearing the way for me to start classes on Monday. For the next eight weeks, I’ll be taking two classes a day, four days a week, working toward an associate degree in computer programming. The past 4 or five weeks have been really stressful regarding the whole school thing. In the back of my mind, I knew I would be accepted and could start classes, but being officially notified is always better. I’m also really emotional over the fact that I am going back to school at all. It’s something I was supposed to be doing almost exactly a year ago, but now I am doing it. So WHOOO!!! It feels so good to be doing something with my life now.

In other news, I turned twenty-four February 20th. Went with my dad and brother to the hockey game that night, and watched our boys play an amazing game that I can no longer remember the details of. On Saturday, a neighborhood friend who would be returning to Canada to get back to college the next day invited my brother and me on a day of fun and frolic that I sort of counted as a birthday celebration. First up was an early dinner at Max and Irma’s. Seating arrangements around the table, clockwise, starting at myself: my brother, a friend of K’s that she brought out of Canada to the States, K’s brother, her dad and mom. I had a delicious meatloaf sandwich with sautéed onions and the best restaurant mashed potatoes I’ve had in a long time, along with a bowl of soup that tasted verymuch like chicken quesedillas. Dinner was excellent, but was so large; I actually had to bring half of my sandwich along with me to the rest of the night’s activities, in which we proceeded to the local movie googolplex to watch Big Fish.

Big Fish was better than I expected, though I don’t really know what I was expecting. An interesting tale about a son who wants to learn the “truth” about a dying father who turned his life into a series of tall tales; it was quite entertaining, not too preachy, a solid film.

Oh, between dinner and the movie, there was about an hour to kill, so we all spent that time wandering the new location for the Sports Store next to the theatre. In the soccer equipment isle, my brother put a row of cones across the isle for the next person to come through to figure out.

After the store escapades and the movie we went back to K’s house. We played a rousing game of 3 on two foosball, K and her brother narrowly beating myself, my brother and J, K’s friend. After that we sat and talked about our various school experiences and played with the cats for a while. I had a great time and had fun hanging out with such fun people. I look forward to doing it again sometime in the near future.

Is it October already?

Got my tool mp3’s copied over to the pc from the laptop today. They disappeared from the pc somehow, and I wasn’t sure I still had them on the laptop, but they were there. God! That was a great concert last fall. Today wasn’t all that great, tho. Mom threw off my groove deciding not to do dialysis right as I woke up. Instead of doing the wise thing, and waking up as usual, I just rolled over and slept for 4 more hours. Not a good thing. It seems whenever I sleep until late afternoon, I am in a foul mood, and this was no exception. The phone kept ringing with telemarketers, and just didn’t know what to do with myself.
Scout pizza is much better than first glance makes it appear. Gotta love that comfort food. Got the dog out for a walk too, even. The moon is quite bright, nearly full. Moonshadow is striking to see.
The family bought a Windstar last week. Used, silver ’03, nice. I haven’t driven it yet, but having the old car for personal use will come in handy. Getting the Windstar followed about a week of car mishaps that sorta built up to highlight the need for a new vehicle. I’m working on writing it all down, but as usually happens, it’s taking a long time to write about it all. Oh, well. Also went to the Otters home opener with Debbie, some of her friends and Andrew. Will give that its own entry soon, perhaps.

Job Status Report

After two weeks of the job search, some progress has been made. I have applied to five of the six companies on my initial list, with varying degrees of activity thereafter.

At FedEx, I applied on their in-house application system, and had an initial interview on the 13th of August. I’m waiting to hear back about a sort-observation/2nd interview.

I sent my resume by email to Coca-Cola August 4th. Still no reply since the automated reciept reply.

I put in an application at Panera Bread August 6th. No word from them.

Also applied at a local Shur-Fine on the 6th. No word from them either.

Stopped by Tickle's deli the 6th, but the job had already been filled.

I filled out an application to work at Outlet Furnishings. Stupid self hasn't dropped this off yet.

So far, I must say, i've done a lot of work, and it is up to these employers to get back to me. I'll have to put in my Outlet app tuesday, and start looking for another group of potential jobs. I beleive that if I'm looking for work, someone will hire me, and if I get comfortable after getting an initial interview, those jobs won't come to fruition. A somewhat irrrational thought, but i'd rather keep looking and be wrong than stop and be stuck at home, jobless by winter.

Doing something about it

As a steppingstone to the ultimate goal of going back to school, I’ve started applying for work. I’ve put in applications at the local fedex shipping facility, the coca-cola bottling plant, panera bread, a local supermarket, and have to fill out an app. For a furniture outlet store. This plan of action came about after I discussed with my dad the feelings and thoughts I had about returning to school. He voiced the concerns he had about going right back into a situation that I had trouble with without showing some signs of improving my chances for success. I had to agree that that made sense. The other concern dad raised was money. With my brother going to college this fall, and my lack of personal income, there just wasn’t enough money in the household to put me through school on a full time basis, with my track record. My employment, when and if it comes, would help resolve all these issues.

All in all, this was the best course of action for me to take right now. As much as I would like to go back to school on an emotional level, practically speaking, I am unprepared at the present time. I hope that I’ll be hired in the near future, but the best I can do to help that is to put out as many applications as possible.

Is this what I was waiting for?

In a sleep deprived state early this morning i thought about very nearly almost practically running back to my old school and seeing if they can let me in this fall. I even looked to see if the classes i need to take to get into the software engineering curriculum were available, and they were if i hurried.

I think it's related to the fact that my brother starts college the end of this month.

Part of why I left college most recently (I really wish there wasn’t a most recently in this sentence) was because I was unprepared for joining the college choir for their italy trip, and didn’t want to face my choir director, who I respected and did not want to disappoint. Also there was a bit of burnout regarding the entry level classes and writing class of doom. But really, if I took advantage of all available resources and kicked butt in the study/homework department I can do a lot better.

Something else that may work in my favor is the fact that my brother is there now. I know him quite well, duh, and can hang out with him and get help from him, and help him. I won’t feel so isolated on campus.

I really really want a bachelor’s degree in computer science. I just can’t get past the prejudice I have against associate degrees.

The biggest stumbling block to going back in my mind is money, and my current lack thereof. i'd need a job, and my dad's ok to work out some more loans

Preventing further mental-lockup

Once again, I've permitted myself to bottle things up inside until I was immobilized with worry. So, here begins the releasing of as much as possible the gunk that's taken residence inside my head.

We've gone to war. On the night that the US launched the attack on unnamed 'leadership targets', I was watching the live coverage on cable tv, waiting for the president's address. Just minutes before that address, my neighborhood loses power. After the initial expression of shock amid the pitch-darkness, I, and probably other members of my family, had the panicked thought that the war, and our outage were related, for we live in the Secretary of Homeland Security's hometown. In fact, this outage occurred because many of my neighbors turned on their televisions to hear the Prez speak, and blew out a transformer.

Another personal moment of panic when one of the talking heads behind a desk went to a live report in Kuwait City, where a reporter was holed up in his hotel, reporting from a balcony with a gas mask on, and klaxons warning of an air raid. Going to that reporter, at that time, was sensationalist journalism at its best/worst.

After watching the news coverage on the broadcast networks and the numerous cable-news channels almost religiously the first few days, I've practically turned around 180 degrees, watching only the evening network news report tonight. Of course, I spent much of the day in bed. But that's neither here nor there.

Shifting gears abruptly, I spent much of last week fighting a terrible cold, including hacking cough, rivers of mucus, and bulging sinuses. Thankfully, I'm on the road to recovery this week, and will hopefully be fully recovered by the weekend.

For the current moment, that's what I'm able to get out, perhaps later I'll add more, goodness knows there's so much more I have to say, but first I need to play some web games to distract myself a bit.